Blog #2: 999 Plan

999 Plan = 666 to the Economy

A flat tax, like the proposed 9-9-9 tax plan by Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, is the most fair, organized, simple tax plan and I love it. But it will ruin America.

You cannot major in anything more boring than Accounting. I’d spend my tuition adding speed bumps to NASCAR tracks before I’d go to school to be an accountant.

Alas, accountants are necessary. Without them, the economy would fall and we’d all try writing blogs to make some spare change so we can play the McDonald’s Monopoly game – ironically a game about housing economics. Oh wait, that’s how this blog started.

The 9-9-9 Tax Plan is the main platform introduced for Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain. He has based his entire candidacy on this simple 9-9-9 plan, which would tax ALL sales nationwide at 9% (way higher than the national average), all businesses 9% and all incomes 9%, which would basically raise taxes for the poor and lower them for the rich.

Cain isn’t the only candidate in favor of a flat tax. Texas Governor and Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry also believes that a flat tax should be established.

Honestly, I believe in tax equality and I love a simple, easy-to-calculate flat tax. The druggy at Subway who makes $8/hour should not get taxed less than me just because I furthered my education and make $30/hour (I don’t). But there is one INCREDIBLY LARGE FLAW in the 9-9-9 plan. The following anecdote illustrates it best …

I sat for 10 hours last week in a car alone with a self-employed accountant, a man that has filed taxes a hundred times every year for the last 30 years or so. We were discussing the ever-boring topic of his work – I brought it up so I can really only blame myself – and it hit me like a ton of bricks:

“If we instituted the 9-9-9 tax plan, would you lose all your clients?”

“Hahaha! Well … actually, I guess I’d lose a lot of them,” he replied.

“How many?”

“More than half, maybe around 63% (remember, he’s an accountant, he thinks like that). I’d lose every client that’s not a large business. They always need someone to do their dirty work. But I’d lose about half my income, which would put my family on the streets.”

“What about the IRS?”

“Oh they’d be gone forever … and my hair would grow back.”

I hate the IRS as much as the next guy. But we’ve already got a major unemployment problem. By installing the 9-9-9 plan, or any simple flat tax plan, we would put most of the IRS out of jobs. No need for “equationists” when the only equation is x9%.

And most of America’s CPAs and Tax Preparation Specialists would hit the streets. Every company has a Chief Financial Officer and I’m sure he can figure out how to multiply his company’s annual profit by .09 and write it in the space provided.

If we throw 20 million (guesstimate) accountants out on the street, people whose main skill set is tax preparation for a tax system that no longer exists, our unemployment rate could easily reach 15-20%. And there would be no end in sight.

Imagine the unemployment lines …

“Hi, I need unemployment benefits until I find another job.”

“What do you do?”

“Prepare and file taxes.”

“What do you WANT to do?”

“Well, anything that I’m good at. What else is there for a CPA with, a Bachelor’s in Accounting and a calculator for a brain?”

“Well, let’s see, the IRS is gone …”

“I know, I worked for them. Can I maybe teach accounting?”

“Why would students need to know how America used to file taxes? Journalism students don’t use typewriters. Broadcast students don’t learn VHS editing. So no, there’s no need for teaching tax policies other than x9%.”

“Then what can I do for work?!”

“Well, let’s see here … I will give you $5 to write the answer to 14,502 x 4 on your bare chest.”

(The accountant takes off his shirt and writes 58,008 on his chest, fearing that he’ll never make $5 again.)

“Now, let’s tip you upside down and read what it says …”

“BOO’BS. You made me write boobs on my boobs.”

“Exactly! You’re a human calculator in a world that doesn’t one. Go teach kids dumb calculator jokes.”

My Point: If either Herman Cain or Rick Perry win the Republican primaries, they could win the general election. And if so, they will know that their platform, especially Cain’s insistence on the 9-9-9 Plan, is what America wants. We do not want more unemployment. We do not want to put accountants and Satan’s helpers at the IRS out of jobs. Do not vote for Cain or Perry.

Blog #1: Al Davis

Al Davis: Blending Silver & Black with Red, White and Blue

Al Davis (at left), the owner and general manager for the Oakland Raiders from 1972 until his death on Oct. 8, 2011, affected WAY more than just sports. Davis created tsunami waves in American society

Eminem, EA Sports, President Barack Obama, Rodney King. What do they all have in common? Al Davis started them all. Well, maybe he didn’t start them all. But he played a major role in the initial development of each, changing American society as we know it.

HIP-HOP/RAP: Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Tupac. Watch the 30 for 30 documentary produced by Ice Cube. Called “Straight Outta LA”. He admits, straight up, that if Al Davis hadn’t moved the Raiders to LA, his rap career would have never taken off. “The hood” had no identity, no unity. Gangsta rap’s identity was the Raiders, according to Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, and rap pioneer Ice T.

Ice Cube and Dr. Dre’s infamous “gang”, NWA, strictly wore Raiders gear in public. That was their theme, their gang colors. “Our identities, the Raiders and NWA, were one in the same,” Ice Cube said. NWA created gangsta rap, and gangsta rap’s colors were silver and black, as seen at right.

Then the snowball starts to take shape. With no Raiders rebel attitude to adopt, NWA could have faltered. Without NWA, we may not have Dr. Dre. Take Dr. Dre out of the equation and there’s no Snoop Dogg, Tupac Shakur, and the highest selling solo artist ever, Eminem.

AMERICA'S RACE RELATIONS. So we have established that without Al Davis’s hand in creating and marketing the Raiders as America’s “rebels” and moving them to LA, we would not have Dr. Dre, and therefore all his protégés, including Eminem.

Eminem’s impact on American society, whether for good or for evil, has been incredibly profound and undeniable. Generation Y’s (today’s 25 to 40-year-olds) “White America” would not have been comfortable voting for a black president if an outspoken white boy hadn’t pushed us into black culture nearly 15 years ago. Martin Luther King Jr. brought political equality for African-Americans. But no legislation could force a generation of white kids to suddenly accept blacks in public leadership roles. Such accomplishments had to be ushered in by a black knight in white skin, as if to say to the younger generation “Hey, your parents may disagree with this, but I promise these folks won’t bite.”

Abraham Lincoln was that knight. So was Branch Richey. So was Eminem. Al Davis was that knight for football leadership. Davis hired the NFL’s first Latino head coach and first black head coach. And both coaches won A LOT of games.

Regardless of how you feel about Eminem’s ultimate role in society, whether he damaged teenage minds more than he blended races, you cannot deny his impact on society. And without Al Davis thwarting NWA and Dr. Dre into the spotlight, there would be no Eminem. Of course, without the LA Raiders, we also wouldn’t have the terrible movies that Ice Cube produced. So there’s that.

RODNEY KING RIOTS. Also portrayed in “Straight Outta LA”, the Rodney King riots were a direct result of growing gang violence and anti-authority attitudes in LA. And the growing violence was a direct result of NWA and the city’s identity as outlaw rebels, an identity they pushed with the Raiders. As one LA native and hip-hop history expert noted, it was a perfect storm that created the Rodney King riots, a delicious fruit smoothie blend of gang hostility, anti-police attitudes as provoked by NWA, minority divisiveness, and a face/logo/identity marketed by the country’s outlaws: Al Davis’s Raiders. Take any ingredient from the King Smoothie and it never exists.

EA SPORTS. Quick, name any game created by EA Sports. I asked my mom to do that – a woman who has never watched a full football game in her life, nor has she ever played any video game. First word to come out of her mouth was “Madden.” She then proved her lack of knowledge in the subject by continuing with “basketball, baseball, and I think they make football games, too.” (Thanks Mom, but Madden IS the football game.)

Electronic Arts’ first signature game was Madden NFL Football. Madden skyrocketed EA’s first subdivision, EA Sports, into national popularity. It currently ranks 6^th among the all-time best-selling video game franchises in the world. John Madden oversaw all aspects of the game. If it had his name on it, he wanted it to be the best. It later went on to dominate the video game landscape. TV series have even chronicled the lives of the best Madden players in the world.

Who is John Madden? Al Davis’s biggest diamond in the rough. (Madden is shown below lighting an "eternal flame" in honor of Davis at the Raiders first home game following Davis's death.)

Before 1969, nobody had ever heard of John Madden. At 32 years old, he had never played a down of professional football. He had never been a head coach. Not even a defensive coordinator. He had been the Raiders’ linebackers coach for just two years, a position he had never even played in college or high school.

But Al Davis saw potential in the witty, fiery Madden. Davis made Madden the youngest head coach in football, a title that Davis himself once held. Madden went on to set a football record that still stands: the highest winning percentage for a head coach (76% with a 103-32 record). From 1969 to 1978, Madden’s Raiders won their division 7 times and reached the playoffs 8, winning the SuperBowl in 1976. So of course, when Madden retired, he instantly became a broadcasting prize, furthering his popularity around the country. That’s when EA first approached him and the rest is history.

Electronic Arts may still be in business without the Madden franchise, but possibly not. John Madden himself created a lot of that game, demanding that it have real plays and real playbooks, a full 11-man field, and realistic ratios of successes, despite the EA honchoes’ disagreement. Without Al Davis, though, John Madden would have never been given a chance as a head coach and no one at EA would have demanded such lofty expectations for a 1980s video game, which likely would have killed the franchise, and possibly even the company, in its infancy.

SO WHAT?

When Al Davis created the infamous Raiders shield in 1963, he had no idea what it would come to represent: danger, violence, rebellion, evil. ESPN anchors love to make fun of the Raiders while they hide behind an LCD TV screen because they know what would happen if they said anything ill to a member of the Raider Nation in person. Al Davis, the Original Gangster, may have affected the world in a lot of negative ways, but there are some positives to be had, too. Regardless, his legend extends far beyond the scope of Sunday’s NFL lineup.